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Dear Kirbynite, - Virtual Grape Gardens

Dear Kirbynite,

(Note to foreign residents: This is a joke topic)
Cirvante
Der erbarmungsloses Mathematikslehrer
Querido Sr. Kirbynite,

La vaca me persigue. Yo trato de huirle, pero no puedo. Está en todas partes, planeando su macabra venganza...

¿Me estoy volviendo loco?

Preocupadamente,
Cirvanteboard2 - Jul - OC ReMix
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

If you were once supreme commander of Neo Grape Gardens, does that make me your usurper?

Conflictingly,
Teddylot
bloodmoon0011
Hating things since 2-1-88.
Dear Kirbynite,

I was wondering what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter asking what I should do if I wanted to write you a letter.

Is it true?

In Some Way, Probably, Yours,
Fergus Thumperbottom
Cirvante
Der erbarmungsloses Mathematikslehrer
Dear Kirbynite,

I'm writing this because it's 11:30 and I'm tired and I need to do my programming but I can't programming now because the cows are after my sacred milk and I need to sleep in magical fairy writerland I can see him I can see the ghost of Leibniz plotting his cartesian revenge THE NUMBERS THE NUMBERS ARE AFTER ME OH GOD HELP

Schizophrenic,
Cirvanteboard2 - Jul - OC ReMix
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

Over the summer I'm going to train to be a cowboy. Do you think that when I come back I can drove some cattle across NGG for practice?

Spittooned,
Teddylot
JDavis
あのマッドサイエンティスト!
Dear Kirbynite,

What does the scouter say about his power level?

Curiously,
Nappa
bloodmoon0011
Hating things since 2-1-88.
Dear Kirbynite,

I know you're not a matchmaking service, but I just got this new scouter and I was wondering if you knew any bald, moustached musclemen who would be willing to follow me around and ask me what my new scouter says about various things' power level. Know anyone?

Searchingly,
Vegeta
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

Today's the day you remaster your discography.

I know you've been putting it off for a while, but you've got to clean out the attic sometime.

Musically,
Teddylot
DigitalBasic
EEEEEH SUGOI DESU NE *flex muscles*
Dear Kirbynite,



From,
cpubasic13
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

Fitzgerald and I are disappointed in you.

Disappointingly,
Teddylot
Grey
Grey
Dear Beloved.

From Mrs. Louisa Bath.
Beloved in the Lord Jesus Christ,
PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

I am the above named person 76years old woman from #82 FEBAY AVAUNE IMO STATE OF NIGERIA . I am married to Dr. Alan George Bath,We were married for Thirteen (13) years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of GBP 800,000.00 ( Eight hundred Thousand British pounds) with the (ACCESS BANK PLC) in Nigeria.My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my partial stroke.Having known my condition I decided to donate this funds to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.I want a church or individual that will use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows
propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that givet. I took this decision
because I dont have any child that will inherit this money and my husband's relatives are
not believers and I dont want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I will want you to give me your

Name:...........................
Address:........................
Sex/age:........................
Phone:..........................
Occupation:.....................

I will send a copy to the bank. For identification when you will contact them. I want you
and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd and I shall not want. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Note, this must be kept confidentially from eyes and ears of my husband's family. Hoping to hear from you.Please Reply on my private email address here: mrslouisabath2@yahoo.com
Reply me and Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Regards,
Mrs. Louisa Bath.
Please Reply on my private email address here: mrslouisabath2@yahoo.com
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

When they say that every day is a new day, I don't understand what happened to yesterday.

My theory is that there are daily hitmen that take them; or we just shove them into the nursing homes in the back of our minds.

Introspectively,
Teddylot
JDavis
あのマッドサイエンティスト!
Dear Kirbynite,

Pick a box.
Its contents
will help you
on your way.


Sincerely,
Toad
DigitalBasic
EEEEEH SUGOI DESU NE *flex muscles*
Dear Kirbynite,

Doesn't this make you go "Dawwwwwww!?"


From,
cpubasic13
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

My ancestors would whip your ancestors butts.

Probably literally.

Retroactively,
Teddylot
DigitalBasic
EEEEEH SUGOI DESU NE *flex muscles*

Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

You think you'd be up for a game of horseshoes later tomorrow? First one to fit and sell fifty pair wins.

Or Twenty-five customers, of course.

Sportsman-like,
Teddylot

P.S. No points for leaners; only dead ringers.
Grey
Grey
Good day,


I just want to inform you that i have packaged and deposited your ATM MASTERCARD worth $800,000,00 USD with FedEx Delivery Services to deliver it to you, I have waited enough to hear from you so that your funds will be transfered through CENTRAL BANK OF AFRICA here to your personal account but because of the late response,I now decided to deposit the ATM MASTER CARD and placed it for delivery with the fedex delivery services because it is easier and safer. Insurance and delivery charges have been paid for, but the only fee remaining is the security safe keeping fee of $198,00 USD which you will be required to pay before delivery, so you are to contact them on how you are to remit the fee to them so they can release your package and deliver it to you which will take 2 working days to get to you.


I advice you quote the parcel and shipment code to them for onward delivery to your address. The ATM MASTERCARD has pin number 8876. Take note, once you receive the card you take it to any ATM cashpoint around your area and slot it in and enter the pin code for withdrawer, the amount you can withdraw per day is $10,000.00 USD (Ten Thousand United State Dollars) each day.


Forward the following when contacting FedEx Delivery Services:


Full name......................
Home address............
Occupation...............
Country....................
Telephone...............


Find FedEx Contact Information Below:
====================================
Contact Officer: Mr. Collins Oliver
E-mail: fedexshippingdept2009@live.com
Tel: +234 805 876 9039


Shipment Code: CPEL/OWN/9856
Parcel Number: EG2272-NG


Once again, the Fedex delivery services do not know the content of the parcel, I registered it as an African magazine they don't know it contains ATM MASTERCARD inside, this is to avoid them delaying the delivery and besides I don't want you to lose your inherittance funds.


Regards,
Barrister Greg Williams.
Teddylot
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

I was wondering if you had framed any of my letters.

You should,
Teddylot
Grey
Grey
Dear Internet User

We are happy to inform you that you have emerged winner of $500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars) in the European Union Micro Project Award Draws.

The European Union Micro-Project Award is conducted from an exclusive list of 500,000 email addresses of individuals and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer selection from the web.

Your email address is attached to Ref No: 12/0079/I PG & Batch No:FGN/EU20054117/09 with Serial No: 31270-0.This Award draw is to be held annually and is aimed towards changing the lives and living standards of one thousand computer literate individauls per year with whose email I.D's the draw is played and the first one thousand email addresses to be picked up in the draw are awarded a cash prize of $500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand Dollars Only). It is also a practical step to encourage the use of the internet and computers.

The prizes will strictly be remitted to winners that officially file in for claim within the first 30 days from the date of this notification.

To begin your claim, you are required to email the under listed information to our claims agent

1. Name and Address
2. Nationality
3. Age
4. Occupation
5. Phone/Fax

The email addresses and telephone numbers of our accredited agent are given below for every winners' use. Email the above information to him and call him immediately for further instruction on how to receive your award fund.

Make sure you send him email to both of his three email addresses and call him once you send him the email.

Contact Person: Mr. Alfredo Perez
Phone: +234-706-922-4441 IF YOU ARE CALLING FROM USA THIS IS HOW YOU WILL DIAL 011-234-706-922-4441

Email:mralfredoperez200@gmail.com

Email:mralfredoperez363@hotmail.com

Email:mralfredoperez464@hotmail.com

Your prize award has been insured with your Reference Numbers and deposited with the paying bank. It will be wired to your bank account upon meeting the laid down claim requirements of the European Union Micro-Project Award organization which includes your statutory obligations.

NOTE: You may receive this E-mail more than once as the European Union send it to its winners in most cases until every winner has claimed his or her prize to ensure that all the winners
receive it.


Best Regards,
Gabbed, Alice (Award Coordinator)
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