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Dear Kirbynite, - Virtual Grape Gardens

Dear Kirbynite,

(Note to foreign residents: This is a joke topic)
Dear Kirbynite,

Yo, Kirbynite,

How's life up in the sky been treating you, dude?

Things have been pretty crazy down here in the sewers... And the city in general. Ol' chrome-dome sending his goons after us, all kinds of new mutants popping up... Okay, kind of the same as always, but that doesn't make it any less crazy.

Not much new goin' on at home, either. Leo and Raph are still butting heads. Donny's still crushing on April. Splinter's still... Splinter.

Welp, my bros are bugging me to get ready for our nightly patrol. Catch you later.

wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

I thought I saw you the other day and was about to say "hello" when I noticed that I was actually about to greet a bag of marshmallows. What a delicious, honest mistake!! I was wondering what you were doing in my pantry.

You should come over and we'll roast some s'mores.

Mouth Full,
Western Union westernu65.westernu65@aol.fr via mx.aol.com
3:55 PM (17 hours ago)

Greetings to you and your family, before I proceed I am very sorry to encroach into your privacy in this manner; please accept my apology. I am Mr. Mohamed Hassan, chartered chief auditor with BANK OF AFRICA of Burkina Faso Ouagadougou West Africa. I got your contact address from your country through online directory. You’re impressive and managerial records made me to solicit for your partnership in these regards.

After going through some old files in the records during the audit for the year in my own department which I am heading now, I discovered that there was an account opened in our bank since 2000 and since then till now nobody has operated on this very account.

The owner of this account as I discovered from the bank record secretly is Late Mr. Jerome N. Snaga, a foreigner and a miner at the Anglo Gold Platinum Mining Company in Mafikeng Burkina Faso, as a geologist by profession and he has died since 2001 and Up till now, no other person knows about this account or anything concerning this money, no other persons name or group was documented as the beneficiary of this money because according to my investigation which I made last few months ago proved to me that his family died along with him during their holiday traveling and his company does not know anything about this account , because the company was bankrupted after two year of the death of Late Mr. Jerome N. Snaga.

The amount involved is US$ 10.5.Million and I want the total fund to be transfer into SAFE BANK ACCOUNT in your name or through ATM VISA CARD method of transfer to overseas. I am contacting you as a trusted person who can stand as the beneficiary of this fund. I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this fund can not be approved to a citizen of this nation or local bank here.

In this regard your full co-operation in order to achieve the success of this project and be informed that our management is ready to approve this payment to whoever that has correct information to this very account of which I will relate to you later on, know that all the arrangement for maturity of this project in strict confidence and according to my instruction it will not be difficult for us to get this project done, all what i need from you is trust and reliability because I know that with good co-operation we shall have good successfully.

I want you to know that With my full position in my department I am assuring you that this fund will be transfer into bank account information which you will provide for this operation but please can you assure me that after the confirmation of the fund into your bank account in your country the fund will be intact until till my arrival in your country for sharing of the fund according to the ratio.

Be assured that you stand no risk of any kind fear now or in future, Therefore after the final stage of the transfer of this fund, I agree to offer you a reasonable amount of the total sum of 40% from the fund and 10% shall be offset for every expenses we might have incur during the course of this project and 50% for me.

I believe that we can work together to claim this fund. Please listen, this is real and goes on in Banks all over the world without people knowing. Let us utilize this opportunity because it does not come always.A lot of customers open private accounts with different Banks without the knowledge of their families and when they die, such money will be lost to the Bank unless someone comes to claim it. This is how a lot of Bank Directors make so much money silently.

On your confirmation of this message and indicating your interest, I will furnish you with more details. Please endeavor to provide me with the following so that we can discuss in details.

Your Full Name:..............
Your Country:...................
Your Direct Phone N°........
Your Age:..........................
Your Sex..........................
Your passport or ID card.

Looking forward to your urgent response, thanks for your co-operation. NOTE: If You Receive This Message in Your Junk or Spam Its Due To Your Internet Provider.

Contact Email m.hassan2132@yahoo.com

Best Regards,
Mr Mohamed Hassan.
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

We missed you at the BIG GAME. Didn't you get our invitation? Everybody else showed up and we all did a lot of big game stuff despite the fact that it turned out to be more of a small game. At least the company was fun. Missed you though.


The overlapping voices mixing, mixing with each other.
wanderer, can't be counted on
Dear Kirbynite,

I'm stopping by later to drop off the groceries you asked for. I had to ask the Ice Climbers for some fresh eggplant. You should show your appreciation by sending them a thank you letter. I think you could make one heck of a salad with the rest of the ingredients from your garden.

Running around,

P.S. There's no bacon you asked for. I decided to keep it for myself.
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