A PHP Error was encountered

Severity: Notice

Message: Only variable references should be returned by reference

Filename: core/Common.php

Line Number: 257

High School Hijinx - Main - Virtual Grape Gardens

High School Hijinx - Main

Currently: Opening Ceremony, August 24th
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens
"Goooood morning, citizens of Candoridge! It's currently Monday, August 24, 2015 and you know what that means! Students should be up and ready for the start of the first day of school again and prepare for academic achi-"

Candoridge City was the heart of a metropolitan area, as well as the heart of some diverse geography. To the north was the mountain range known as the Nevera Mountains, home to a very popular ski resort and a large meteorological facility. To the east were farmlands that were not seeing the best of times. To the west was Downtown Candoridge, a place with plenty of tall office buildings and apartment complexes. And to the south was the ocean, which was easily accessible thanks to the light rail system that connects it to the rest of Candoridge.

"Hey! Are you going to wake up, Kirby?"


Kirby and his sister lived in the suburban area of Candoridge. It was the first time they lived on land, as they had spent all of their lives living on a boat with their parents. They enjoyed their lives on the open sea, but their parents decided interaction with locals at ports was not enough preparation for the future.

Kirby: Isn't this too early, Ginny?

Kirby's sister threw open the curtains in his room, causing Kirby to retreat into his covers.

Ginny: It's not if you want to catch the opening ceremony. Weren't you excited for our first day in an actual school?

Kirby: I am.. I just was too excited to sleep...

Ginny: Ah. Of course.

Ginny slowly headed towards the door as Kirby continued to groan.

Kirby: How did you even manage to fall sleep? I thought you were just as excited as I was.

Ginny turned and winked.

Ginny: Sleeping pills!

Kirby groaned once more.

His frustration soon disappeared as he smelled a wonderful scent making its way into his room.

Ginny: Hurry up and get ready. Pitch is making us breakfast.

The Nite siblings were living not with their parents but with a family friend, Pitch Falco. It was an odd arrangement, but it worked for them.
Somewhere else: A huge schoolboy is running late while being kawaii
"Pointless, senseless clothing. How dare she force me into such ridiculous feminine coverings? My nude magnificence is more than fit for any who gaze upon me. To hide myself is beyond cruel." A five foot tall girl with bright red hair and what were clearly horns walked through the city streets carrying a backpack. "First she makes me go by the name Rubi as if I'm some decorative piece of jewelry, then she makes me wear these hideously scratchy garments called underwear. Who does she think she is? Even insulting my intelligence, telling me I need an education! Pah! I've lived over thousands of years and seen more of the world than these mere mortals can comprehend! I've burned countless alive and eaten countless more!"

A man walking past stared at the monologuing girl before shaking his head.

"Even insulting my perfect human form! Hrmph!"

From the distance, a girl with oversized clothes and carriying a backpack over her shoulders was watching the boy running.
There was only one question on her mind.

"Why...why is he wearing those clothes?"

But then she remembered something. Canoridge academy had sent the wrong uniform to her. While she's fine with the design of the uniform itself, there was something else that pissed her off about it.

Bill O'Pessimist. For some reason, her parents thought that Bill was the most beautiful name in the world. That 'beautiful' name caused a lot of confusion among people.

Bill suddenly realized something important.

"I need to stop thinking and start to run! Otherwise I'll be too late!"

A nervous waffle boy sits in a tree while watching everyone else run to school. He's going to be late.

"I hope no one eats me."
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Ginny: Hey, what're you doing?

Kirby: Huh?

Kirby, after freshening up, emerged from his room wearing his school uniform, which consisted of a blue jacket, a white buttoned shirt, a red tie, and a pair of blue slacks.

Ginny: It's still summer! You should be wearing your summer uniform!

Kirby: Oh! Right, that's how it work. Though, I'm kind of fond of this blazer..

He sighed before returning to his room.

After searching for a short sleeved shirt and a blue vest, he stepped back out of his room.

Ginny: Shouldn't you be moving a little faster?

Kirby: Don't worry. We haven't established a time frame in which our actions are occurring in, so as far as we're concerned, we're ahead of those guys who're running late.

Ginny: Shhh! Don't break the 4th wall so early! You might scare off some people!

Kirby: OH! Er.. right, sorry.
A hedge has arrived at school early, excitedly getting to know her new classmates.

These are not her classmates.


????: Wake up lazyass! You're gonna' be late again! Don't want to have to sleep through another parent-teacher conference because you can't make it to school on time! Busy as it is doing--*grumbles off into the distance*

Mac awoke to his girth slumped halfway on the bed with only his legs preventing his body from sliding to the floor. Unwilling to move, yet knowing he had no choice, he chose the slug-like option, accepting the cruel fate of gravity and sliding to the floor from his bed.

Mac: Ugh... He confused me with Phoebe and Damien again... *shouting* COMIN' UNCLE A.

Despite being put-off for having been compared to his underachieving cousins, Mac continued his morning routine without a hitch. After a quick shower, followed by a 5-min beard comb session, he was almost out the door when he stopped himself. Today was the first day of school. He had to dress to impress. He couldn't find a proper ceremonial lion head in time, but the beanie he grabbed should suffice. Now everyone would know how mighty he was.

The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The Nite siblings casually walked towards the school. It's not like they were late for the opening ceremony.

Kirby: It's weird, isn't it?

Ginny: What is?

Kirby: This walking.

He stepped on the ground hard for a few steps.

Ginny: Oh. Yeah! Pitch drove us around before, but now we're actually walking.

Kirby: It usually threw me off when we stopped at some port or island, but the ground really is solid, huh?

Ginny quickly moved a few steps ahead of Kirby. She then turned around and began walking backwards.

Ginny: You're talking like living on a boat all our lives is normal.

Kirby nervously scratched the back of his head.

Kirby: It's normal to us.

Ginny: Mm. That's true.

As the two continued to talk to each other about pointless things, Candoridge High began to appear more clearly. It was not a tall building, but it had many parts to it. From what Kirby and Ginny understood, one of the buildings taught students who were ten years old or younger. Those students stayed in one room during class hours, and had teachers come to them.

The older students in the other two buildings, however, had to travel from classroom to classroom for each of their classes. The younger students probably thought the teachers were being lazy, forcing their students to look for them instead of the other way around.

Behind the school was a gymnasium that doubled as an auditorium. It was connected to the main school building by a long hallway, so students did not have to worry about being rained on. The gymnasium is also where the opening ceremony is taking place.

Ginny: I still don't understand why it's called Candoridge High when even younger students are attending it.

Kirby: Maybe the school's big on tradition.

Ginny: Hey, do you think we'll see that dog again?

Kirby: Ginny, it was a goat.

Ginny: No way. It was a dog with those fake horns on it. Or some kind of dogalope.

Kirby sighed as he watched a long, stretch limo drive by.

Kirby: I don't think we're going to get used to land creatures.

The siblings crossed the final street before arriving at the school. They scanned the surroundings. There was no sight of a goat or dog with horns on the perfectly mowed lawn, or on the large clock overlooking the main entrance. Maybe a crow, but definitely no goat or dogalope.
By the time our currently nameless dragon girl arrived at the school she was steaming! Or smoking, more like. Dark plumes of sulphuric smoke -- mixed with just a hint of bed breath -- poured from her nostrils. She nodded oh so slowly at the building doors as if she intended to burn the school down on her first day.

She recalled the words of her current pact master. Well. Pact mistress. This time. "...and remember, if you burn down the school, I'm going to donate your body to science."

The dragon girl shivered as she thought about the terrible implications of this new age magic called science. She was promised it was cold, sterile, boring, and oh so annoyingly slow and painful. Definitely a hellish fate. She sighed and let the rest of the smoke float into the air, forming a natural mushroom cloud, before she walked through the doors.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby and Ginny watched a rather irate young lady stomp past them. Kirby and Ginny glanced at each other for a moment.

Ginny: I guess not everyone's excited for attending a new year of school.

Kirby: It could be that they needed more sleep. It was really tough falling asleep last night with how excited I was for school.

The Nite siblings looked at the school building for a while in silence for a few moments.

Kirby: ...I guess this is where we go our separate ways.

Ginny: Not just yet, we do have to walk to the auditorium first!

Kirby: I know. But..

Ginny: Yeah.

Kirby: It's going to be a little weird.

Ginny: It's not going to be so rough. We'll make some new friends here and will have more things to talk about when we go home!

Kirby slightly tilted his head and looked at Ginny.

Ginny: Oh, don't be like that, brother. I'm sure you'll find at least someone to talk to soon enough.

Kirby: I hope they don't serve salty food for lunch.

The two turned to look at the school once more and stared in silence.

Ginny: ... Yeah.

The moment the sighing word left Ginny's mouth, the Nite siblings were treated to an obnoxious flash and the click of a shutter.

"Right," a male voice said, "That's a good shot. Sign this, please."

A gaunt young man with wide brown eyes let the camera around his neck hang low as he shoved a pair of sheets of paper and pens into the two teenagers' hands. It appeared to be some kind of verbose permission form. He began speaking as though he were a telemarketer, making a clearly rehearsed speech to the two of them.

"Hello my name is James Usher and I am taking pictures for the school newspaper article on today's opening ceremonies please sign this form to indicate your consent to be photographed for informational and promotional purposes only your photos will not be used for any purpose other than the creation of school newspaper related content and articles thank you for your time."

i forgot my stuff home?? also to eat

but its 2 late to go back we must perservere in the face of these terrible adversaries
& we will ultimately triumph, those with a righteous heart will prevail
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby: Oh! Is this part of a Journalism club thing?

Ginny: Isn't it kind of early for club recruitments?

Kirby: Or maybe this is normal.

Kirby looked at the paper and was about to press the pen against it when Ginny grabbed his hand.

Ginny: Hold on, brother! We haven't even developed signatures yet!

Kirby gasped audibly.

Kirby: You're right!

He turned his attention back to James.

Kirby: I'm sorry, Mister Usher! It's a little too early for us to be signing things. Please forgive us!
Bill arrived on time, somehow. But whatever, she was happy!

Bill: Woo, I made it! I'm hype-

???: Miss, do you happen to be Bill O'Pessimist?

Bill responded with a thumb up, pointing towards her cheek

Bill: Yep, that's me!

???: That's a... very unique name. But that's besides the point. May we inspect your bag?

In shock, she held her bag tight. Looking away from the person, she responded.

Bill: I can't... I can't give you my bag.

And then, the person got hold of Bill's bag. Inspecting the bag, he found what he was looking for.

???: You know, chainsaws aren't allowed to be carried around the schoo- wait how does this even fit in your bag?!

Bill: Because it's a chainsaw.

???: That doesn't make sense! No sense at all!

She shrugged.

Bill: I know. But it happens to fit.

Sighing, the person walked away with Bill's chaisaw. She tried to chase him, but he was nowhere to be found. A pout could be found Bill's face.

Bill: Damn it.

There was also someone else standing next to her.
"Jeez..." James said, retracting the pen, but leaving the paper. He pocketed it and switched out for his camera. "Well, can't force you to. Not anymore, anyway..."

He began to turn on his heel, paused in repose, then looked back. His voice went from the telemarketer rhythm to an aloof monotone.

"Sorry, that's a good question, ain't it? Yeah nah, newspaper doesn't recruit 'till after Homecoming. Lets us know what the crops're like this year. And if we wanna report on 'em, how much work it'll be. This is just to make you famous on your first day, y'know?"

He continued on, giving a little wave as he headed for another group of students. "Paper's there, if you wanna appear. Just drop it in the slot in 202 in the Vo-Tech building. We'll get it."
Steve Carter slowly turned around to look at disciplinary officer.

"What shirt?"

The stern officer waggled a finger at him. "You know that patterned shirts like that aren't allowed here."
Steve smiled cautiously. "Well, it didn't really specify in the handbook what an 'obtrusive' pattern was."
The officer tightly gripped his belt and grimaced. "Come on now."
"Hey, can't you cut me some slack? It's the first day." Steve looked at the officer, holding his hands together.
The officer sighed. "Fine. But if I catch you again you're getting a citation."

Steve grinned, and waved as he walked by the officer.
His smile faded as he passed. "Some people, I tell ya what. First friggin' day and I have to deal with a shirt? Come on."
Shamdar ran up the stairs, making sure to hike his robes up with one hand so it wouldn't drag on the steps. That's difficult to do while holding a five foot staff in the same hand, and making sure your hat doesn't fly off with your other hand. The yellow stars on a blue background was a reserved and tasteful pattern, so he wasn't worried about blending in.

"So far so good. Everything about this school looks normal so far. I just hope I don't run into any weirdos here."

He looked back on his experiences in his last school. There was a kid there who listened to only public broadcasting. By choice. What's more bizarre than NPR? He shuddered at the thought. This school seemed a bit more standard, thankfully.
James pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture of the kid in the wizard robes.

"That's one for the personal files," he murmured to himself as he continued accosting other students for newspaper photos.

It'd been a shitty day, as far as journalism was concerned. Very few students had signed the consent form; those who had were practically faceless.

"Chief's been making this really hard... Don't see why I can't just snap the shot and roll with it. Nobody asks why Ben Barker always has such great shots of Beetle Man."

He continued grumbling as he fumbled with the pictures already saved onto his camera amidst a growing crowd of students.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby: Vo-tech building?

Ginny: I don't remember that being mentioned in the map...

Ginny opened her messenger bag and, after rummaging through, pulled out a printed map of the school.

Ginny: I don't see it there..

Kirby: Wait, look at the date.

The two stared at the year listed on the map. It was more than just a few years old.

Ginny: It's not even in this current century!

Kirby: Well, we were told we were going to be surprised all the time by this place.

Ginny: 'Cause this is so old.. do.. Do you think we came across a treasure map?

There was a bit of a starry look in Kirby's eyes.

Kirby: That would be so cool!
Quick Reply!