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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: Ah.. Uh..

His face was still red. He was desperate to change the subject.

Kirby: But.. But I am glad to see you here. I had no idea what was going on since the that machine brought me... Brought me to this land. Everything was familiar, but not really...

He was sincere, but he still was wanting to change the subject.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Do you have stockings on? I bet you have stockings on!"

She wasn't quite done, but as he managed to talk about something else, she stopped and started nodding.

"Yeah, that's how I felt too. It seems we're a few hundred years in the past. Whenever the Fiendlord waged a war with the kingdom. I think we should head back to Truce Canyon and wait for Teyla. She'll be coming to get us soon."
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby briefly averted his eyes when Beatrix mentioned stockings.

Kirby: A-Actually.. I cannot leave as things are.

He turned to face the window once more.

Kirby: Alicia.. Queen Alicia.. The real one.. She has been kidnapped. History tells us that she was rescued without much time left on her life in the hands of her captors.

He turned around to face Beatrix.

Kirby: They think they found the real queen.

He had a false smile.

Kirby: What do you think is going to happen if we tell them I'm not the real queen?

He shook his head and looked down.

Kirby: I can't leave here..
Ralzma
Beatrix paused. It was a good question. She wrinkled her nose slightly.

Beatrix: "I-I'm sure they might... they might understand, somehow."

She gulped as she looked at Kirby.

"Uhm... Kirby. What if... what if she isn't rescued? I mean, that would be... it would kind of be your fault, wouldn't it?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby gave an emotionless chuckle.

Kirby: I am.. familiar enough with this type of environment. As things are now.. We would need the real Queen Alicia with us for them to truly understand.

He sighed.

Kirby: I do not know what.. would happen. We.. really should not find out what happens.

He started to breath hard.

Kirby: I do not.. I do not..

He suddenly stumbled backwards, landing on top of a bed.

Kirby: I do not know what to do.

He placed his head in his hands.

Kirby: I do not know..
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Y-You can't sleep in her bed too! People are already going to think you're a pervert for wearing her underwear!"

She moved over to Kirby and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him off the bed.

"Look... okay... okay. Uh. Alright. You can stay here. I'll go out and find her. It can't be too difficult, right? I mean, just, I Gotta look around. With no help... Well! She can't be too far, can she?"

Beatrix started to panic. If only she had read the history books a little more, she might actually know where Queen Alicia was!
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: You.. You are going to do it?

His eyes were slightly watery.

Kirby: I..

He wiped his face with his free hand.

Kirby: I am sorry I cannot help you.. And I do not know how much this information can help but.. She could not be in a far away land. The Zenan Bridge was not fixed until Alicia was found, and there were no active ports to sail from.
Ralzma
Beatrix nodded eagerly.

Beatrix: "Then it'll be easy! I'll go find her, you just sit tight and..."

she paused before giving a little huff.

"...keep looking pretty."

She turned her back to Kirby and started moving for the door.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby, in response, puffed his cheeks as his face started to glow red once again.

Kirby: Good luck..
Ralzma
Beatrix left through the door and went down and out of the castle in record time. But... where to look? She really had no idea where the queen could really be. She felt a big uncertain of herself as she moved to the castle gates and kept walking. Certainly there had to be some clue to point her in the right direction!
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Oh, crap, was that my cue?

Teyla burst out from some bushes, coughing on a leaf, and stumbled forwards. She had a strange apparatus on her arm, with large glowing wires seeming to protrude from her chest.

Teyla: *cough* Hey! Beatrix!

She seemed strained.

Teyla: *cough* Hah... Dammit... That had to be like 5 meters... What a workout... Phew...

She raised a finger, and a few seconds later, stretched her back, and spoke.

Teyla: So, did you find him?
Ralzma
Beatrix jumped as something jumped out of the bush. She almost even screamed before she realized it was Teyla. She started nodding eagerly, though.

Beatrix: "I did! He was in the castle! He's... oh... you're... you're totally not going to believe this."

She had to let the suspense build for a second.

"He's cross dressing as the queen, and get this, he's actually hot!"
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: What.

Teyla could barely believe it.

Teyla: Really? Tell me you got pictures or something.
Ralzma
Beatrix frowned.

Beatrix: "Only if you can extract them from my head. We'll see him again, but we have to find the real queen. They kind of gave up the search because he looks so much like her."
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: That explains why I thought he looked so familiar then... Wait. The queen is missing?

She frowned.

Teyla: That isn't good.... I guess this is a trial by fire on the multiverse theory... Any ideas where she is?
Ralzma
Beatrix: "I was hoping you would know. Haven't you read where she was found or something? Who found her anyway?"

She shook her head.

"Regardless, it's up to you and I to save her now!"
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Maybe we could go ask around town if anyone has heard anything. Someone has to know something.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "But everyone will think we're crazy!"
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Just ask something like.. "Hey have you heard anything about the queen?"

She nodded, simple enough.

Teyla: I had to learn how to deal with normals. If I can do it, you can too.
Ralzma
Beatrix huffed.

Beatrix: "They'll just say she was found!"

She flailed about.

"...unless they don't know, but then why would they know anything else!?"

She grumbled a bit before she started walking.

"And why are we assuming I'm doing all the talking!?"
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