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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: ....

She pushed up her glasses, covering her eyes in a shiny reflection.

Teyla: Nothing. It is the pendant.

She looked over at it.

Teyla: It's emitting a large field of energy of some kind. I scanned, and it's not radiation, nor is it the chaos energies typically found in gems... I...

She shook her head.

Teyla: It's magic. It has to be. I can hardly believe it as a scientist, but... I mean. I wrote a paper on magic. It's supposed to only exist in human beings, and in very dilute amounts.... And...

She sighed, and looked off at the machine.

Teyla: Teleportation normally takes a long time, as only photons can be transported instantly, and making a human into pure light energy is beyond my abilities. If a human was energy too long, they would be too difficult to put together... so I made a small temporal displacement machine to crunch the travel time down by bending the distance... The energies in the pendant interfered with that and... Warped him. Somewhere.

She looked at the pendant.

Teyla: Never. Never cross magic with science. Unless you have a schoolbus, or lots of weapons.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Teyla's dad scratched the back of his head.

Pops: What are we going to do now..?
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: I dunno, but I have a really bad feeling about this... He looked kinda familiar...
Beatrix shook her head and moved over to the teleportation pad.

Beatrix: "Make the machine work!"

She held the pendant up.

"If he's just somewhere, I'll go after him! You'll be able to figure out a way to come get us. I know you will, you're, like, the smartest person I know!"

She nodded to herself and tried her best to look confident. She had no idea where she was going or what would happen, but she wasn't going to let Kirby go into the unknown alone.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Pops: What?

He turned to Beatrix.

Pops: You're going to go after him?

He almost seemed at the verge of tears.

Pops: What a terrific friend!
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: R-right!

She nodded to her father, then looked Beatrix in the eyes.

Teyla: I'll stay behind and research into finding a way to control it. You hold onto that magic pendant as hard as you can and don't let go. I already have all the readings I need on its composition and energy wavelength.

She walked to her side of the controls.

Teyla: Make sure he's fine, and don't get yourself killed. Hopefully, I'll catch up in just a bit... Activating energy modulator!
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Teyla's father approached his side of the controls.

Pops: Increasing power input.

The machine roared back to life as if nothing had happened earlier. Sparks of electricity began shooting out of the machine, just as before, but it was not deterring the scientist family.

Pops: Here we go!

The machine started to shudder as the disruption returned.

Pops: Good luck, Beatrix!
Beatrix nodded to Teyla and gripped the pendant tightly in her palm to the point where it would leave a red mark.

Beatrix: "I won't let go! And I'm not going to let Kirby be in some strange place by himself!"

She tried to look as fierce as she could, but as the machine started, she was obviously nervous. She was a bit pale, a bit worried, and totally hoping it wouldn't be all that terrifying.


She struck a fighter's pose as the machine started to do it's science.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Beatrix's entire body dissipated into several visible orbs of sparkling light. The sparkles flew into the disruption. Beatrix's body reformed just like Kirby's did, and she had a slight taste of cherry in her mouth, just as before.

The next thing Beatrix knew, she was wrapped under a cover of darkness. However, the darkness did not feel dark. She saw what she believed to be streaks of colored light. She felt like she was moving, but she was not moving her body, nor did it even seem like she was standing on anything at all.

Suddenly, the colored lights disappeared. In its place was dark foliage and grassy terrain. Lucia's Square was no where to be seen. There was no clamor of crowds in the distance, only the sounds of birds singing and leaves rustling.
Beatrix screamed out into the void as light flew by her.

Beatrix: "Dammit Teyla! You did discombobulate me! You killed me! I knew it, why did I ever agree to this! This was stupid! I'M GOING TO HAUNT YOU WHEN I DIIIIIIEEEE~"

But then the world returned around her as she was on her knees looking around at a strange place. She started looking this way and that, wondering where she had ended up. Finally she stood up and started nervously walking around.

Beatrix: "Kirby? Kirby, are you here?"

She called out again and again as she started moving, looking for a way out of the new place.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The nearby bushes rustled once more. Several creatures emerged from the bushes and locked eyes with Beatrix.

These creatures looked familiar to her. They looked like creatures she had seen in photos, creatures from a far away land. They were short and squat, wrote clothes on their bodies and an irritated demeanor on their faces.

They did not seem to be in a good mood, and were slowly closing in on Beatrix.
Beatrix actually thought they looked rather wimpy and harmless, but the determination on their face made her take a step back.

Beatrix: "I suppose we can't just talk about this, right?"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The imps all gave a toothy grin.

Imp: You probably should've thought about that before popping up in our turf.

Imp Colleague: We can't just let anyone roam around here without any consequences, can we?

One of the imps was bouncing a small rock in its hands. Another imp was approaching menacingly while cracking its knuckles.
Beatrix stared at one of the imps and shook her head before pulling her new and improved iron kunai out!

Beatrix: "You're like, half my size! What do you honestly think is going to happen here? Run away before I start beating you up!"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Imp: What are you going to do with that? Whittle us a statuette?

One of the imps chuckled.

The imp holding a small rock stopped bouncing the rock and pulled back an arm. He then swung his arm around, throwing the rock in Beatrix's direction.
Beatrix flushed as her small weapon was made fun of.

Beatrix: "SH-SHut up! It's not the size that ma--oowww!"

The rock smacked right into her arm. She hissed and threw one of the kunai right at imp that had thrown the rock.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The targeted imp attempted to dodge the kunai. It avoided getting the blade embedded into its small body, but it could not escape getting slashes across the arm.

Imp: Gyah!

The imp stumbled away, and collided with a large rock that was jutting out of the ground.

Imp: Oof! Uuugh...

The imp slid down the side of the rock and crumpled onto the ground.

Imp's Colleague: Hey! You'll pay for that!

The remaining two imp's began yelling and charging towards Beatrix.
Beatrix dashed for her kunai, which had embedded itself into the ground nearby and even did a fancy flip to pick it up before she stopped with both weapons in her hands ready to attack with. As the two imps came at her, she charged right back at them before jumping before they would collide and trying to flip over them while dragging her kunai's across their heads.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Imp's Colleague: Ow ow ow!

Stone Throwing Imp: Agggh!

Both of the imp's began applying pressure to their heads

Stone Throwing Imp: Didja see the way she was flippin'?

Imp's Colleague: I thought this was going to be easy money! I'm out of here!

Stone Throwing Imp: Hey! Don't leave me behind!

The two imp's took off into the forest. The imp that was on the ground was still unconscious and looked like it was going to stay like that.
Beatrix laughed before she struck a victory pose, bringing one hand up to her head and making bunny ears with kunai still in hand and the other hand on her hip. She stuck out her tongue and snickered

Beatrix: "Ha!"

The wind blew, reminding her where she was.

"Oh! I should've asked them about Kirby!"

She considered chasing after the imps before frowning.

"Well, I'm sure he's okay. Those weren't exactly strong...."

She turned and started walking in the same direction she was when she started. She just needed to find a way out of the forest to orient herself.
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