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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Beatrix's face was a bit red, but she couldn't help herself but to huff and grumble.

Beatrix: "N-nothing! That man is just weird. He wants your pendant, but I wouldn't give it to him!"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby's hand instinctively moved over his pendant.

Kirby: O-Oh. T-thank you..

He glanced at the weapons dealer briefly.

Young Mother: What was that, sweetie?

Little Girl: The machineyes! Near the bell! Are they done?

Young Mother: Oh, that's right.. That inventor girl Teyla should be done by now.. Oh, but.. Wouldn't you like some more ice cream?

Little Girl: Ice cream! Yay!
Beatrix stopped dead in her tracks.

Beatrix: "O-Oh no! We have to hurry, if we don't, she's going to make a new experiment just to make me the test subject!"

She grabbed Kirby's hand and practically started yanking him toward the plaza.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby: Kyu!

Kirby nearly lost his balance as he was hauled off by Beatrix. The square seemed to have faded away like a blur to him as they traveled back up to the Lucia Bell. They were about to enter the clearing where Teyla had her invention set up when Kirby spotted something round and pink.

Kirby: M-Miss Beatrix! Wait a moment, please!
Beatrix stopped and turned around, still trying to tug on Kirby even while she was in place.

Beatrix: "Whaaaaat?"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

He pointed at a food stand.

Kirby: I.. I'd like to at least get something to eat..
Beatrix sighed.

Beatrix: "Fiiiine! Grab something, hurry hurry!"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby chuckled.

Kirby: Thanks!

He walked over to the food stand. It seemed like a whole world of flavor was awaiting him, and he did not know which adventure to take.

Kirby: Hm...
Beatrix stared after Kirby and sighed. She walked up behind him and started pointing out things.

Beatrix: "Try the rabbit! It's always delicious! Or the frog legs! Or even fish sticks, just piiiiick something! You don't understand how scary Teyla can be!"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby was startled by Beatrix's sudden outburst.

Kirby: O-Okay. Um..

He pointed at the fluffy pink confection.

Kirby: I'll go for the... cottonee candy.

Foodstuffs Seller: Sure, that'll be --- Gold.

The transaction was processed, and Kirby turned around to face Beatrix with a bunch of cotton candy in his grasps.

Kirby: Eh heh heh. Thanks for waiting.
Beatrix shook her head.

Beatrix: "No problem, I guess. But let's goooo~!"

She started dragging him off again!
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Kirby: Whoa!

The two made their way up the stairs to find a small group of people, about five or so, standing around, looking with apathy in the direction of Teyla and her invention.
Beatrix looked at the crowd and silently cheered. She guided Kirby -- mostly by yanking and tugging -- to the front of the crowd. She waved excitedly to Teyla as if to make sure that Teyla saw her.

Beatrix: "I dunno what she's been working on. She's kept it a secret, but I bet it's really cool!"
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Okay pops, everyone who matters is here!

Bit harsh, but okay Teyla. She grinned, the glasses resting on her forehead shining brightly.

Teyla: Give 'em the intro!
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Pops: Alright people!

The tall man with a red streak in his hair and long sideburns clasped his hands, somehow demanding attention just by merely standing there.

Pops: Don't by shy, folks! We've got the invention of the century, right here for you!

The crowd seemed to have given a collective look of confusion. It was the year 1000, at least according to the founding of the Kingdom of Guardia.

Pops: Which century, you ask? Who cares! Let's say this is the invention of the millenia. Which millenia? You're thinking too hard!

He swung an arm, allowing his open labcoat to flow behind him like a cloak.

Pops: By the power of SCIENCE, the AWESOME Dimensional Jumper will take someone from here..

He spun around and pointed at a mechanical platform on the other side of the clearing.

Pops: To over there!

He raised both of his hands into the air.

Pops: It's the masterwork of my beautiful daughter, Teyla!

He then pointed at Teyla.

The audience were still looking apathetic.

Kirby, however, was watching with pure awe and sparkles in his eyes.
Beatrix couldn't help it. Teyla's dad always had so much fire in him that she was practically jumping in excitement. She had to keep herself under control. She certainly didn't want to be the demonstration of that strange contraption. She decided it was best to keep her mouth closed. At least for now.
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Yes, ladies and gentlemen. We would like a volunteer.

Her eyes scanned the crowd, going over the bored looking facing. She was a bit annoyed, but then she saw her friend, looking almost as excited as the boy next to her.

Teyla: Beatrix?... Hm... She could work. Her mass seems to fit the acceptable range of the trans-dimensional wavelength, we wouldn't have to make any adjustments... *Ahem* Miss Beatrix! I see you back there!~ You look like you're ready to teleport!
Beatrix: "Wh-What!?"

She squeaked before looking at Kirby and then toward the teleportation pad. She sighed and moved away from the crowd. The claps for being a good sport were hardly what she wanted to hear, but she still tried her best to look confident. She glared at Teyla.

"If this fries me or makes me explode, I'm going to haunt you from beyond the grave!"
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Don't worry! I guarantee it's 27.89% safer than Catro! And he just has giant sawblades in his arms.

She grinned across the crowd. Today was awesome.

Teyla: Step right this way miss, onto the pad there.
Beatrix sighed and stepped onto the pad.

Beatrix: "I-If I die, you don't get any of my stuff!"
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