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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Ralzma
Beatrix immediately started nuzzling against Kirb's cheek with a very awkward look on her face that said she knew what she was doing was horribly wrong, but she simply had to! It didn't last very long before she pulled away.

Beatrix: "Oh phew, you're just a little less soft."
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: E-excuse me?

Kirby was already pulling away before Beatrix did. He put a hand up to his flushed face.

Kirby: W-w-what was that about?
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Nothing! Nothing at all! I-I just missed you!"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: Y-you did?

It almost seemed as though as his face was now even more red.

Kirby: I.. I hope all of you did not go through TOO much trouble..
Ralzma
The ever more flustered Beatrix shook her head wildly and tried to think of something to explain her behavior, but everything that came to mind would just make matters far worse.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Apparently the queen's cheeks are super soft. I'll need to do some research on the sponginess, smoothness, and flowery fresh scent that Beatrix described to me and see if I can replicate them.

Teyla pushed her glasses up as she spoke, giving them an eerie shine.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "For... what? Are you going to build me some maid robot I can nuzzle?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: Er.. Could the two of you step out of the room for a moment? I would like some privacy as I change.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: A nuzzling robot? That'd be an invention all right.

She seemed to be ignoring Kirby.

Teyla: But no, it was more to see if I could simply recreate the royal feel. Material recreation is a portant step in understanding things we don't. It's science really.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "What!? Why? Are you wearing women's underwear too!?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: Well, yeah.
Grey
Grey
IT'S ALL HE HAD.
Ralzma
Beatrix's face turned bright red before she turned around and left the room.

She muttered something inaudible under her breath about how softness might not be everything in the world while silently cursing the boy.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: To be completely fair, panties are quite comfortable. I can't say I'm a fan of bras though.

She patted her chest.

Teyla: I've just wrapped my goods up with a cloth.

TEYLA PLEASE JUST LEAVE THE ROOM ALREADY.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: ... Could you please step outside the room?
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Why? I have no interest in men, and very little interest in humans. Your assets would not cause a-

She cut herself off before going on a sciencey tangent.

Teyla: I... Er, um. Yes. Sorry about that.

She apologized and left. There we go.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby sighed as he made sure the door was closed and promptly began changing out into the clothes he had when he went to the Millenial Fair. He then stepped out of the queen's bedchambers and closed the door behind him.

Kirby: I have never been a fan of formal wear. And now I am questioning how my female ancestors tolerated wearing everything that came with their formal attire.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "I'll trade you next time."

She was a fan of fancy dress, after all. How could she not be!
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: I don't like dresses either. Skirts are fine, but dresses? Nah. Way too big and frilly... And complicated... And... Bleh.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




There was a slight whimper from Kirby.

Kirby: I hope there isn't a next time. Endangering time is really nerve racking.

Not wanting to linger around, Kirby started to make his way to the long stairway down to the ground level.

As he emerged from the stairway, he sheepishly looked around as guards and maids looked on with interest.


Kirby: ...

As soon as they reached the throne room, Kirby turned his head and looked at the and king and queen of this time. He glanced at the door that lead to the exit, but decided it was best not to leave without speaking.

Kirby: Your majesty.

He approached the king and queen and knelt.

Kirby: I am glad you safe.

Queen Alicia: Please, rise. I cannot imagine the confusion and frustration that had gone through your mind as you stayed behind as your friends risked their lives.

It seems as though as the chancellor could no longer hold back his frustrations.

Chancellor: That no good Yakra! Impersonating me and kidnapping the queen! King Guardia, I strongly suggest we institute a stricter criminal justice system to ensure fiends such as Yakra never threaten the royal family's safety again!

Kirby turned his attention over to the chancellor.

Kirby: E-excuse my boldness, but if you are targeting fiends with laws specifically, then, is that not going to incit--

King Guardia: Yes, something must be done to prevent this from happening.

Kirby's mouth remained open for a while, but slowly closed. He got up to his feet and bowed.

Kirby: If you do not mind, I will take my leave. This has been an exhausting day, and I wish to see the comfort of my own home.

Chancellor: Hm? Oh, yes.

Queen Alicia: If there is anything we can do for you, good sir, you must not hesitate to ask.

Kirby shook his head.

Kirby: Thank you, your majesty. However, the only thing we need is simply a safe passage to the front door. Please reserve your efforts for--

He paused. He could not remember if the war with the fiends had already started or if it was put on hold due to the missing queen and broken bridge to the southern Zenan continent.

Kirby: --More pressing issues.

Queen Alicia: Very well. Farewell to you and your friends.

Kirby turned around and looked at Beatrix and Teyla, hoping they were both ready to leave.
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