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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: C'mon, we can get you some nice soft silks as long as you don't screw up this rescue.
Ralzma
Beatrix's eyes lit up and she immediately let the queen get away from her almost inescapable lesbian love grip.
Grey
Grey
"Have you all forgotten the fiend?" Torte said as Yakra began to go limp. "It's time to finish you, monster!"

The tortoise's muscles bulged as he hefted Yakra's immense bulk off of the floor of the carpet, bent his knees and sprang into the air. "Behold! Por Victoria!"

Torte reached the apex of his jump and flipped Yakra's body upside down and parallel to him, shoving his own head inside of his shell. They dropped to the ground and slammed, hard, into the carpet, cracking the floorboards beneath it.

"Suplex Bueco!!!"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: Whoa!

Yakra did not make any yelps of pain, only sounds of air escaping its mouth. It seems as though as the creature was already down for count.

Girl: A bit.. thorough, aren't you? You don't hold back against your own kind, do you?

Queen Alicia: We know not what underhanded plans fiends may hold.

She was suspiciously eyeing Beatrix as she took a few steps to distance herself.
Ralzma
Beatrix pouted! She was being avoided! Hardly fair!

Beatrix: "Right! Well! We should... uh. Lock him in a cell?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: You mean prepare a grave? I don't think he's coming back.

She took another look at Yakra. There seemed to be a stream of saliva flowing out of its gaping mouth. There still seemed to be air moving through its mouth.

Girl: .. Or I guess locking him in a cell would be a good idea. Hey, I've got an idea. How about we get out of here and tell some nearby guards that they need to do the job their kingdom asks of them?

Queen Alicia: The soldiers are also here?

Girl: Uh.. Not exactly. I was referring to the patrol that would be walking by this area..
Grey
Grey
"He is well and truly finished." Torte said with a nod of his head. He knelt before Queen Alicia. "My Queen, we must retreat from this vile place to the safety of the castle. Allow me to escort you!"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Queen Alicia: Thank you, Torte. Please, lead us away from this defiled cathedral.

Girl: Did the scene just change all of a sudden?
Grey
Grey
It sure did! From combat to comfort, the quintet (and the real Chancellor, stuffed in a box as he was) made their way safely through the forest and back to the castle, where Beatrix, Teyla and the immersion-breaking young woman were hailed as heroes and symbols of victory in the ongoing war against the Fiend army.

Torte stood by the entrance. Everyone already knew him...
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Eh? Are you not coming with us?"

She looked at Torte and frowned.

"Come on, you deserve, like, 83% of the praise!"
Grey
Grey
Torte himself frowned and turned away from her. "I am undeserving. Truthfully, were I a better protector for the queen, the circumstances of her capture would be a mere fantasy."

Through his mask, his eyes shifted down. "Again, I have failed, and this rescue is not penance enough."
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The immersion-breaking young woman Lily Lilitin, treasure hunter extraordinaire (because seriously, her name would've been known when greeted by the King) shrugged her shoulders.

Lily: Hey, at the very least, you went out and continued searching for the real queen when everyone, including the royal knights, thought the search was over.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Exactly! What the annoying one said! Come on! Take your bow!"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Lily: Ah, he's not going to do that.

She grinned.

Lily: Welp, I better go back and do some mingling. I might even find myself a benevolent investor.

She shrugged once more before turning to face the doors leading to the throne room.

Lily: Wonder what happened to that pretender that stopped the initial search for the queen... Oh well.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Ah! Kirby! Right, my text!"

She scrambled toward the queen's room.

With only the most honest intentions. Certainly.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Lily: H-Hey! Don't do anything that'll ruin my good name in here!

Beatrix hurried to the queen's room, catching the interest of many curious maids and guards. Fortunately for Beatrix, none decided to approach, deciding it was best to keep enough distance to simply have another thing to gossip over.

When Beatrix arrived at the queen's room, she was greeted by no one. No one seemed to be inside.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Eh... where... what happened?"

She wandered into the room.

"Kirby...? Did... something...? Uh?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




???: Hm? Oh.. You.. !

Someone ran up to Beatrix from behind and wrapped their arms around her.

Kirby: Miss Beatrix! I am so glad you made it back in one piece!
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Yo. I'm Teyla.

She is still here hi.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Kirby: O-oh!

Kirby released Beatrix and turned around with some difficulty. A queen's dress was not easy for him to move around in.

Kirby: Yes, you are that young inventor woman. Thank you so much!
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