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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Teyla! We should do something awesome."
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: ...

A grin crossed her face.

Teyla: You just said the magic words. Tell me what to do, and I'll crank it to 11.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "See! See! I got a perfect idea! I'll throw you above him, and you can shoot him from above!"

Beatrix pointed right up to the ceiling as a gust of wind blew a tumbleweed across the room.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Can I light him on fire too?

She was excited to use the flamethrower.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: ... What have I gotten myself into?
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Yes! We'll call it... uh... Fire Blitz!"
Grey
Grey
Torte caught Yakra's charge head on, his back foot skidding across the floor as the giant turtle used his lower center of gravity to absorb the blow.

"You'd... Best... Do it quick, while I've got him here!"

When he'd slowed Yakra down enough, Torte began to push back, gripping the fiend's front legs in a double underhook that held him in place.

"Hurry!"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Yakra: Kuh!

Yakra was stopped in place, and was trying to push its way through Torte.

Yakra: How could you be doing this? Why are you helping the humans? Do you not see the looks they give you? Do you not hear the words they speak when you are not looking? Do you not see how horrid these creatures are?
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Hey, you, shut up villain! Mr. Lucha Turtle is awesome!

She turned to Beatrix.

Teyla: Alright. Let's rock!

She was ready to be thrown.
Ralzma
Beatrix grinned and ran over to Teyla. She knelt down in front of her and put her hands together to act like a platform.

Beatrix: "Step up and off you go!"
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla grinned, getting a small running start, and jumping as hard as she could while being boosted into the air. Everything seemed to go in slow-motion as she began to twirl above the bad guy, shooting accurate bullets, and even more accurate bursts of flame at the monster.

Despite all that. She didn't stick the landing, crashing into the furniture.

What'd you expect? She's a scientist, not a gymnast.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Yakra clenched its teeth as it attempted to overpower Torte. However, it had never been in such an awkward position, and could not find a way to break free. Yakra began howling in pain as Teyla's searing shots struck its body. It began to grow limp in Torte's grasp.

Yakra: How.. could you.. you... you f.. f.. fooool..

Queen Alicia: Is it..

Girl: Sure looks like it.

She glanced at Teyla.

Girl: Smooth moves there. Was the jumping part really necessary? I mean, it looked cool, but the whole crashing into furniture didn't look pleasant.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Are you kidding? that was freaking awesome!

She posed.

Teyla: I was all fwoosh, and then pshew pshew FWOOM and then...

She went on for a bit.

Teyla: I just gotta stick the landing.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The firey headed girl chuckled in response Teyla.

Girl: There really is something special about you guys. Fighting off a bunch of thugs and their leader like they were never a threat. Ain't that right, Queenie?

The girl slightly turned her head and glanced at the queen. The queen looked slightly flustered, but seemed to have enough composure to respond coherently.

Queen Alicia: Yes, their strength is impeccable, albeit unusual in their manner. Many men buckle under the might of many a fiend.

The girl shrugged her shoulders.

Girl: That's because they get so caught up in the fact that fiends aren't human. Seriously, have you gotten into any pub fights with them? Most fiends are already calling for their mothers after a few broken bottles smashed on their heads. Well, the more sober ones, at least.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Fiend or human, they are still people. And every person has their weakness.

Eloquently put Teyla.
Ralzma
Beatrix bounced her way over to TEyla and raised her hand for a high five while striking her own pose.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla high-fived Beatrix.

Hell yeah.
Ralzma
Beatrix found some sunglasses and put them on. How couldn't she?

Beatrix: "Also! Quit talking to the queen like that!"

Beatrix was already nuzzling her cheek against the queen's again.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The queen was already trying to squirm away from Beatrix. However, the still-unnamed girl decided to intervene and tried to pry Beatrix from Alicia.

Girl: I think this is one of those times where the lady doth need to protest. C'mon, now, I need to make a good impression here.
Ralzma
"B-but she's so soft!"
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