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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
Grey
Grey
"Suffer not the weak of will, Miss Beatrix!"

Torte leapt in front of Beatrix and charged the two gargoyles with both arms outstretched. As he closed in, he ducked beneath their arms, clapped his forearms across each of their chests and pushed them both down with a double underhook lariat!
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Gargoyles: What speed..!

The gargoyles were completely unprepared for the speed and power behind Torte's movements. Their heads struck the ground with a sickening thud.

They were not getting up for a long time.

They now had access to several paths. Two of them involved going up a flight of stairs. Another went down another long hallway.

There was a faint scent of delicious food coming from one of the stairways.
Ralzma
Beatrix squeaked as the two gargoyles leaped at her. She raised both her kunai, but the movement was completely unnecessary as Torte jumped in front of her and slammed the two gargoyles.

Beatrix: "You're... you're really strong! You're going to have to train me!"

She nodded wildly, practically jumping for joy at the thought.
Grey
Grey
"Then consider this your first lesson." Torte said, his head nodding back and forth between the multitudinous paths that were open to them. "Focus! An empty head has no weight."

He stopped at the stairwell that smelled of food, and sniffed. "They say when faced with a choice, a true man goes with his gut and follows his nose. What say you?"
Ralzma
Beatrix frowned, wondering if she was just called stupid or not. She sniffed the air as Torte instructed her and she immediately turned her head.

Beatrix: "Oh... food. I haven't eaten since the fair. This should be good!"

She started following the scent of food with a happy look on her face.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The scent took Beatrix up to a closed door. It did not sound like there was anyone inside the room, but it was clear there was some hot food inside of the room.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Do we knock or just kick the door down?"

She paused to think it over before just opening the door up.

"Oh. It wasn't locked."
Grey
Grey
"Fool!" Torte hissed as he pulled her out of the room. "Have you no subtlety? If someone is cooking, it's either bait or a chance for us to get some answers!"

He poked his head inside and scanned the area instead of allowing Beatrix to just barge in.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The response Beatrix got sounded as though as she did kick the door open. There was a crashing sound coming from the pantry to the left of the room. The entire room seemed to be littered with random cutlery.

There was no sight of food. There was, however, a delicious aroma coming from the pantry.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "Oh, hush hush, it's fine! And if it were a trap... well, how would they even know we would be here?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




If Beatrix and company WAS expected, why would there have been a mess in this room? That would not be a proper way to treat guests.
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: Food and nagas~ Except for the gargoyles, this place has been pretty rad so far.

She smirked.

Teyla: I think we should investigate anyways.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




This entire time, the pantry had been slowly creaking over to one of its sides. It had finally reached the point where it could no longer remain standing, and crashed over onto the ground. The pantry door opened up, revealing a girl, who was curled up in a ball, and slowly rolling out into the center of the room.

Girl: ...

Her red hair and short stature seemed familiar. She had a very dull look on her face, and was gripping very hard on a large piece of cooked ham.
Ralzma
Beatrix: "...don't I know you?"
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: ...

She slowly got up to her feet, and took a bite out the ham.

Girl: Mmm. Yeah.

She paused to swallow the chunk of meat she bit.

Girl: Met at the tavern.

She turned away and began looking at the furniture next to the wall opposite of the door.

Girl: For a moment, I thought you were a bunch of fiends.

With her free hand, she quickly brushed her hair
Ralzma
Beatrix: "And you were going to beat us up with a ham leg?"

Beatrix shook her head.

"Guess there's nothing here. We should move on to find the queen."
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




Girl: What? Beat you up with this? Why would I ever?

She pulled the hair clip out of her hair and leaned over a locked drawer.

Girl: It's good food. They may eat human flesh, but they sure as heck know how to make some good food that isn't human.

She grinned as there was a clicking sound heard from the drawer.

Girl: Gotcha.

She put the hairpin away and opened the drawer. There was only one thing inside.

*Lily got the Naga Bromide*


Girl: .....

The ever constant grin was finally wiped away from the girl's face. She stood up straight, and began walking towards Beatrix and company.

Girl: Hey.

She handed the item over to Beatrix.

Girl: I think you'll appreciate this.. uh.. treasure more than me.
Ralzma
Beatrix looked at the little magazine before her face turned a little red. She gulped and held it out for Teyla.

Beatrix: "Yeah... appreciate, repeatedly."
Tyty
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?
Teyla: ....

Teyla accepted the magazine, and discretely hid it in her bag.

If she wasn't trying to be polite and discrete around this red-headed girl and the wrestling turtle, she would likely do a fistpump and shout "Hell yeah" right now.
Kirbynite
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens




The girl raised an eyebrow in response.

Girl: Right. Well, then. I'll leave you with that quest of yours.

She took another bite out of the ham leg and was about to start walking again until she took notice of something behind them.

Girl: Oh, heh heh. You know, I think I might want to take a little longer to admire the architecture here. It's.. really well done, you know?

She was quickly moving away from the doorway.

Girl: Has this.. goth structure feeling we haven't had for several centuries, you know? Eh..

She was still trying to increase the distance between her and the doorway.

???: Hey! What's goin' on in 'ere, huh?

Standing behind the group was a trio of squat creatures with beefy arms, beedy eyes, and blue helmets.

Underling: Hey, I think they've been messin' with some stuff in 'ere.

Underling 2: Wh-what? What're youse guys doin' in 'ere?
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