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Epoch Glide - Virtual Grape Gardens

Epoch Glide

A Shameless Chrono Trigger Parody
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Today marked the beginning of the Millenial Fair, celebrating the thousandth year since the founding of the Kingdom of Guardia. In actuality, this was a yearly fair that celebrated the founding, but King Guardia thought it was a good idea to give the fair a different name. This name change greatly confused foreigners, and gave the people in the nearby southern nation of Porre another thing to scoff at.

For many of the people of Truce, the capital of the Kingdom of Guardia, this fair was what they looked forward to every year. Children, inspired by the annual event, grow up hoping to create their own inspiration for future generations. Artisans bring their best works to, hopefully, have their names known and their talent sought after. For most, the fair was simply another thing in life to enjoy, and for others, it was a place to escape to.


A youth smirked as he glanced down at the ground.

"I knew there was a good reason why we had all this drapery hanging everywhere."

He continued his descent down a tall, stone structure. Suddenly, he felt something in the fabric he was gripping.

"Oh no.. did someone find.."

He looked up. There did not seem to be anyone at the window. His eyes opened widely as he realized what was happening. The fabric was quickly tearing under his weight. He reached up to climb, but the fabric gave way.

"... Accursed weaver and his falsehoods..!"


"Beatrix... Beatrix, dear, it's time to get up."

Practicing her invasion of privacy, Beatrix's mother stepped inside of Beatrix's room. She pulled open the curtains with gusto, flooding the room with sunlight.

Beatrix's Mother: Ah, I do love hearing that bell in the morning.
Beatrix stood bold in the face of a dragon. She could hear the lessons of her father echoing in her head. Always watch and read the movements of your opponent, always prepare for their strongest attack, and never blink. The air felt hot with the dragon's breath, and Beatrix could feel beads of sweat dripping down from her scalp. The kunais in her hands felt heavy, like she wouldnt' be able to hold onto them much longer. How long had she been engaged in this fight for her life with the dragon staring down at her.

The beats was huge and a dark red color. Steam and smoke poured from its mouth as it prepared to breathe fire yet again. Beatrix adjusted her posture and got ready for the assault. Right as the dragon opened its mouth, it wasn't fire that flew out, but pure light. Beatrix's eyes stung, and she was sure she had just been bested!


Beatrix awoke with a start, falling completely out of bed and onto the floor in a tangled heap of pajamas, limbs, and blankets. She groaned as she sat up and rubbed her head before shooting a glare at her mother.

Beatrix: "It's too early to be awake!"

She couldn't help but come off as whiny as she slowly tried to crawl back into her bed before her eyes met her mother's and she heard the bells off in the distance.


She relented and moved over to her wardrobe, pulling out the same old stuff she always wore; tight black undershirt under a purple v-cut, both front and back, with stylishly frayed hems along with a purple skirt and black leggings. She, of course, had no issue dressing in front of her mother.

"Are you going today too?"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Beatrix's mother spoke with a frown.

Beatrix's Mother: Nooo.. Unfortunately not. I have to wash all of our clothes again because I left them out over night, in the rain.

She looked off to the side. It was somewhat awkward to admit that she did not, in fact, bring in the clothes like Beatrix had suggested. She had considered asking Beatrix to do it instead, but she did not want to be seen as too selfish to put down a book to do chores.
Beatrix just stared at her mom for a few seconds.

"You have nothing that's dry? I can.... I can go to the fair and pick something up for you? I'm sure someone is making something that I can get. I know your size. Sorta...."

She frowned a bit herself. She should have just brought the clothes in when she noticed they were outside! It's hardly fair her mom didn't get to go to a once in a forever fair!
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Her mother smiled and slowly shook her head.

Beatrix's Mother: Oh, that's fine, dear. It is a bit of a walk from here and the fair, and I do have to keep an eye on the clothes while they dry. The fair lasts for more than a day, so I'll be fine missing just one day. As they say for these kind of things, the best day is not the first day.

She slowly made her way towards the door.

Beatrix: Besides, you should go support that friend of yours, the one that has been working on some top secret thing.
Beatrix immediately groaned.

"But she uses me for experiments! I was hoping to avoid her! At least until she got the first test underway!"

She huffed but knew she would never live it down between her mother and her friend if she didn't show up and early at that.


She eventually relented as she reached into her closet to grab her kunai and slid them into a little strap that dangled from her waist. She moved toward her door.

"I'll be home later tonight. Try not to get too bored. Love you mom!"

She quickly made her escape, hoping to not be reminded of anymore errands that might need to be ran.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

Beatrix's mother moved a hand up to her cheek.

Beatrix's Mother: Oh dear..

Several minutes had gone by when something ran across her mind.

Beatrix's Mother: I forgot to give her some extra allowance...


Lucia Square was already bustling with crowds and events. There was a constantly running race with costumed characters, one of whom seemed to be more of an actual knight rather than a mascot. In the heart of the fair was where the artisans worked hard at attracting attention. There was jewlery, weaponry, and all sorts of items to help lighten fair-goers' wallets.

The Lucia Bell, to the north of the square, was a bit more lonely compared to the other places. To the west of the bell were mostly empty stalls with crates stacked on them. Beyond the bell stood large mechanical construction built by Teyla. Most of the locals knew it was best to keep away from it. However, for the curious few who stopped by, the mechanical construction swung its arms around and bellowed a challenge with a promise of silver points, the Millenial Fair's prize ticketing currency.

To the east of the Lucia Bell were more empty stalls. Beyond those stalls, however, was a themed dance party. This year's theme? Prehistory.

To the north of the Lucia Bell was the location for Teyla's greatest and latest invention. It was a secret to everyone as to what it did, but, unfortunately, not many people were curious to find out what failure was going to occur this time.

Dark Red Haired Youth: What, really?

Guard: Yes, preparations are still being done.

Dark Red Haired Youth: But.. can't I watch? I'm really really curious!

Guard: I'm sorry.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Aw..
Beatrix was more than a little excited about the fair. She couldn't help herself but to check out every stall and look over every vendor. She knew exactly what she wanted to do and in what order, but first thing she was going to do was to check in on her friend in case she was needed early on. She just hoped it wasn't too early.

She made her way through the fair grounds and toward Lucia's Bell. She hardly even noticed any of the people inspecting the bell, and walked past it without even being too aware of her surroundings!
Can you not understand the words that are commin' outta my mouth?

That was all that could be heard from the site, where Teyla tirelessly worked upon her secret.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The youth was fiddling around with a pendant when a rather intimidating sound came from behind the guard.

Dark Red Haired Youth: What was..?

Suddenly, Beatrix was introduced with something that even she could not help but notice: another person colliding with her.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Kyu!

The two of them fell backwards, with the dark red haired youth's shining pendant flying out onto the ground somewhere.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Ow...

The Lucia Bell chimed, almost as if to taunt the youth by masking the locational sound the shining pendant gave off as it hit the ground.
Beatrix: "Gaah!"

She was bowled over and left sprawled on the ground for a few seconds before she shook her head and looked up.

"Hey! Aren't you walking about a little fast? That could've really hurt me! You're lucky I'm not some old hag or something, I might've broken a hip!"

She wagged her finger and frowned at the dark red haired youth.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The dark red haired youth slowly turned to face Beatrix, barely holding back tears.

Dark Red Haired Youth: I... I.. I'm sorry.
Beatrix: "A-Ah! H-hey, don't cry! Y-you can't cry here, people will get the wrong idea!"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The dark red haired youth slowly stood up, revealing Beatrix to be much shorter.

Dark Red Haired Youth: S-sorry..

The youth wiped away a tear.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Are you alright..?
Beatrix couldn't help but huff at the boy. He was even taller than her!

Beatrix: "I'm fine, you done crying?"

She furrowed her brow and gave him a little glare.

"It's not that bad, is it?"
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The dark red haired youth sniffled.

Dark Red Haired Youth: I.. I guess..

He gasped upon remembering about the pendant.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Oh no!

He looked at the ground around him, and saw no trace of the pendant. He quickly turned around in panic, and collided with the structure holding up the Lucia Bell.

The bell rang once more.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Kyu...

He rubbed his face.

Dark Red Haired Youth: My pendant.. where did it go?
Beatrix took a step back as the youth started to run around the bell trying to track down something. She looked a bit confused at his actions, having no idea what the hell he was doing. She had to stifle a laugh as he crashed into a bell, though. She stared at him for several seconds before shaking her head and looking around the ground. She spotted the sun glimmering off something along the stones and walked over to it. She snatched a pretty looking pendant and considered, ever so briefly, whether or not to keep a joke going to pick on the poor guy or whether to hand it back to him.

Beatrix: "This it?"

She held the pendant up as she walked back toward him.

"It must be really important to you, but you can chill out, I mean, it's right here."

She presented the pendant with an open palm.
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The boy clasped his hands.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Oh! That's it right there!

He quickly walked over to Beatrix with a smile.

Dark Red Haired Youth: Yes, you are correct. This does mean a lot to me. Thank you so much, Miss!
Beatrix: "Beatrix! Not miss, I'm not that old!"

She furrowed her brow a slight bit.

"Are you... I dunno, from around here? You seem kind of lost."
The Jarl of Neo Grape Gardens

The dark red haired youth shook his head.

Dark Red Haired Youth: I am from out of town. I came to see the festival! Um..

He averted his eyes briefly.

Dark Red Haired Youth: You.. live around here, right? I feel really out of place here.. Um.. Would you mind if I walked around with you for a while?
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